"Breast is Best" or "Fed is Best"?

"Breast is best"

If you're a mum, I'm sure you have heard this saying many times before. Possibly even had it drummed in to you. While I think this is a great saying, I do prefer the new saying of "Fed is best". In this post, I will tell you why.

But first...as always, I am not a medical professional. I am not an expert in any health or medical field. The views below are just my opinions and my experiences. If you need help in any of these matters, please consult your GP.

When I was pregnant with my firstborn, I was determined to breastfeed my baby for at least 9 months to a year. I read up on how breastmilk is so nutritious for the baby and the many benefits it will have for baby and also myself. However I always had in the back on my mind the knowledge that my mum was only able to produce a very very small amount of breastmilk for me and my sisters. She would spend an hr pumping and pumping but only got about 10ml of milk. So she gave us all formula.

Now on to my experience...

After a couple of nights at home with our new baby, we found that she was very unsettled and was always wanting to be fed. We spoke to the midwives when they came to check on our baby and asked them questions as to why she isn't settling so they weighed her (as is normal practice when they visit) and found that our baby lost more than 10% of her birth weight. This alarmed them as this is a very high percentage of weight loss for a newborn. So they came up with a breastfeeding plan for me to help my milk to come in (because at this stage, it still hadn't) and they will return in another two days to weigh baby again.

I followed her plan to the letter for the rest of the day and the following day but my little baby girl was still the same. Unsettled and unhappy.

Fortunately, my mum called to check in on us and she asked how we were going. I told her that baby is so unsettled and she gently told me that maybe I'm not producing enough milk and suggested that I give her some formula. She told me that I need to accept the fact that I may not be able to produce enough milk and as a mum, I need to put what I want aside and do everything I can to care for my baby. So after our conversation, my husband went out to get some bottles and formula. After preparing the bottle, we tried giving her 60ml of formula to drink. She was a bit hesitant to take the bottle but once she figured out how to get the milk out, she guzzled it down and I kid you not, the whole 60ml was gone in less than a minute! And whilst she was drinking, we could hear her stomach making so many gurgling noises. We felt so bad that our poor little baby was so hungry. I continued to formula feed her for the rest of the night and she was a very content little baby.

When we were due for another visit from the midwives to weigh our baby girl, they were happy to find that she had put on more weight. They asked if my milk had come in and I said no, but we gave her some formula. I immediately felt the disapproval in the midwife. She said that "you did what you had to do, but you need to start breastfeeding again." I was shattered. I thought that we would receive support for the decision we made and that it would be respected but I just felt pressured to stop giving my baby formula and start breastfeeding again. The midwife meant well, I am very sure of that but at the same time, she wasn't a mum herself, she didn't know what it felt like to be completely helpless and not be able to feed your baby.

Now why am I telling this story? Basically, I believe we need to leave the saying "Breast is best" behind and tell new mums that "Fed is best". I'm not saying this because I couldn't breastfeed and need to justify myself, not at all. I am saying this because we need to stop making new mums feel the pressure that breastfeeding is the only good way to feed your baby. If their bodies can't produce the milk, or if they don't want to breastfeed at all and prefer to formula feed, we need to support them on however they feed their babies.

There are a lot of pressures on new mums already...let's not let feeding be one of them.

However a mother chooses to feed her baby is her choice and no one should make her feel pressure to feed their baby one way or the other. So long as the baby is being fed and gaining weight, that's all that any one should worry about.

I know this post may be a bit controversial and you may not agree with my opinions, that's ok.

Let's just think about the bigger picture...a fed baby is a happy one.

Talk soon xo

Love,

B

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